Weeks after a loss, the mail is still coming. Credit card offers. Catalogs. Magazine renewals. Then the phone calls start, some of them from people who know just enough to sound official.
It’s one of the most painful parts of the months after someone passes, and it rarely stops on its own. Here’s how to shut it down, step by step.
Why it happens
Marketers buy and trade mailing lists. A name stays on those lists until someone takes it off. Meanwhile, obituaries and public records tell scammers that a family is grieving, distracted and dealing with unfamiliar paperwork.
None of this means you did anything wrong. It means you have a few calls and forms to make.
Step 1: Take the name off marketing lists
The Association of National Advertisers runs a Deceased Do Not Contact list through DMAchoice. Family members, friends and caretakers can register a person who has passed. Companies that use the list are expected to remove those names from their marketing mail.
You’ll need the person’s full name, address, month and year of passing, and age. DMAchoice says families should see marketing mail drop off within about three months.
It won’t stop mail from companies the person already did business with. For those, you’ll contact each company directly, which brings us to the next step.
Step 2: Contact the companies that keep writing
Each piece of mail that keeps coming is a clue. Sort it into three piles:
- Accounts that need to be closed or transferred. Banks, credit cards, utilities, subscriptions. Call each one, tell them about the loss and ask what they need. Most will ask for a death certificate.
- Charities and catalogs. Call the number on the mailing or return the label with “deceased, please remove” written on it.
- Anything you don’t recognize. Set it aside. It could be an account nobody knew about, or it could be a scam.
Step 3: Forward the mail
The person appointed to handle the estate can ask the Post Office to forward the person’s mail to their own address. This has to be done in person, with proof of that appointment from the probate court. A death certificate alone isn’t enough, and a power of attorney ends when the person passes.
Forwarding helps in two ways. Mail stops piling up at an empty house, which is itself a target. And it brings every bill and statement to one place, which is how families find the accounts they didn’t know about.
Step 4: Put a deceased flag on the credit file
Identity thieves sometimes use the names of people who have passed to open new credit. To help stop that, contact each of the three credit bureaus: Equifax, Experian and TransUnion. Ask them to mark the credit file as deceased. They’ll ask for a copy of the death certificate and proof that you’re the spouse or the person handling the estate.
While you’re at it, ask for a copy of the person’s credit report. It lists the open accounts, which is another way to find what needs closing.
Step 5: Know which calls to hang up on
Scam calls after a loss tend to follow a few patterns:
- “Your mother owed us money, and you need to pay today.” In general, a family member isn’t personally responsible for a relative’s debts unless they co-signed, held the account jointly, or are otherwise legally responsible. Debts are usually paid from the estate. The Federal Trade Commission explains the rules in Debts and Deceased Relatives.
- “We’re calling about a life insurance policy or a benefit he was owed. We just need to confirm his Social Security number.” Be wary of anyone who calls you and asks for that information. If you think there’s a real policy, call the company yourself using a number from a statement.
- “There’s a problem with the funeral payment.” Call the funeral home directly at the number you already have.
- Threats, pressure, or requests for gift cards or wire transfers. Hang up.
A simple rule for the whole family: never confirm personal details to someone who called you. Take a name and number, hang up, and call back through a number you trust.
Step 6: Shut down the phone line and accounts
If the person had a landline or cell phone that’s no longer needed, cancel or transfer it once you’ve checked it for messages and contacts. Calls to a disconnected number stop on their own.
Close or memorialize email and social media accounts so they can’t be taken over. Each service has its own process, and most will ask for a death certificate.
Step 7: Write a careful obituary
An obituary honors someone’s life. It can also hand a scammer what they need. Consider leaving out the exact date of birth, the home address and the mother’s maiden name. The family’s story matters more than those details anyway.
If fraud has already happened
If someone has opened an account or filed something in the person’s name, report it at IdentityTheft.gov, the FTC’s site for reporting identity theft and getting a recovery plan. Let the bank or card company involved know right away. Keep a written log of every call: the date, the name of the person you spoke with and what they said.
You don’t have to do this alone
Leaf Cremation has served more than 5,000 Georgia families, and we’re the ones at the table after a loss. We know how much the calls and mail wear a family down.
That’s part of why Leaf created the Assist Program. When the time comes, a dedicated Family Care Advisor places the fraud alerts, stops the junk mail and solicitation calls, claims Social Security, VA, pension and life insurance benefits, and closes or transfers the accounts. They stay with your family until every item on the checklist is finished. See what happens after a loss.
Before a loss, the Assist Program helps you get organized so the list is shorter to begin with. It pairs with burial insurance, a small whole life insurance policy that pays your family in days. Burial insurance answers “how will it be paid for?” The Assist Program answers “who handles everything else?” Read about burial insurance or the Assist Program.
If you’ve already lost someone and are dealing with this right now, Leaf Aftercare can help.
For the rest of the first month’s tasks, see what your family will need in the first 30 days after a death.
Get help from the Assist Program
If you’d like a real person to help stop the mail and calls, for your family now or for later, leave your name and number below. Someone from the Assist Program will call you back.